I know that it can really sting to find out that your husband had an extramarital relation. It can have a huge impact on your life and deeply shake you to the core. In a second you can feel a bit like the floor just slid out from under your feet and you are plunging into a world of pain. I have been there myself and I know what you are going through.
Also, don?t misunderstand what I?m saying. I?m not blaming you for your husband?s choice to cheat. It was in the end his choice to do what he did.
What I am talking about here is understanding that most affairs happen because there was something wrong with your relationship. He felt that he was not getting his needs met (usually emotional needs) met and decided to search for them outside the relationship rather than working things out with you.
Sure, he made a decision to cheat, but at the same time, you want to be responsible for what you did or did not do to drive him away from you. Remember that a relationship takes two individuals, and if a relationship isn?t working then you gave partly to it?s degradation.
Here are 3 things that women do that consistently drive men into another woman?s arms:
Nagging and Griping - To you, I?m sure doing these things is just your method of communicating what is on your mind. Griping is simply a way that you express what your day was like, and nagging is just your method of getting your husband to do the things which need to get done.
but you have got to understand that to him, complaining comes off as something that he should fix. Men are natural problem solvers and when presented with a complaint, they are going to try to mend it. Nagging, on the other hand, makes him feel like he is somehow insufficient or not quite good enough.
When men don?t feel ?good enough? they?ll start to distance themselves from you and can be easily drawn in by someone who shows them respect and appreciation.
Emotional Distance ? Another reason why you could have contributed to the affair is perhaps because you and your husband haven?t taken the time to connect emotionally. I?m of the opinion that there is a popular stereotype that men only care about sex, but do you know that most guys say they had an affair because they didn?t feel an emotional connection with their wife?
My opinion is that life is busy and between work and getting all of the errands done, it is difficult to find time to truly connect to each other, but if you?re not there to provide emotional friendship to your man, he may start to look for it some place else.
Being Too Needy - At the same time, you don?t want to become too needy and dependent upon him either. There is a quote that the harder you try and get something the more challenging it is to attain. I know that you simply want to be close to him, but if you do not give him his space once in a while, he?ll feel smothered.
If you?d like to learn more about how to survive an affair, please check out the article My Husband Is Cheating on the website http://whydoguyscheat.com for more.
Source: http://articlesprofitable.com/relationships/did-you-cause-your-mans-affair-the-truth-may-shock-you
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